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Is it me or did the whole world take a vow to cast aside personal responsibility as an antiquated 20th Century virtue. Since the moment the ball dropped in Times Square an d ushered in the new millennium, we all seem to have abandoned our collective marbles. I’ve had my fill of hearing lame excuses about why people failed to do the things they should have or did the things they shouldn’t have. Hey, it’s their life and I’m rarely in a mood to lend them a sympathetic ear. Regardless, some of my friends feel the need to cry on my broad shoulders because I’m supposed to make them feel better about why they’ve failed to save enough for retirement. When it comes to squirreling away a little money for their old age, the litany of excuses stretches a mile long. Cry me a river buddy, because you’ll find no safe haven on my shoulders.
In any case, I’ve taken to keeping an inventory of the lamest excuses that come my way. Here’s my top six Hall of Lame Retirement Excuses.
“The Barista Stole My Retirement”
At the top of the list is “I just couldn’t give up the little luxuries in life to save enough money”. It’s as if the only choice they had was between getting their high-end caffeine fix and or building up their reserves for their golden years. I don’t care if you get a Grande Mocha Latte Frappe Macchiato with a shot of espresso every day, it’s not going to cripple your retirement plans. You don’t have to give up your latte to consistently put away 15% of your salary in your 401 k. Methinks somebody has a bigger problem than an addiction to premium coffee or a pint of Ben & Jerry’s.
“My Income Isn’t High Enough”
This excuse is just as likely to come from a high-end professional earning a six figure income as it is from a minumum wage worker. You can’t argue with that excuse if it’s coming from the stock boy at Walmart, but it’s a bit much when it comes from managers, professionals, sales people, lawyers, programmers and nurses. There will always be people that no matter how much they make, no matter how big their raise - they still won’t have a dime of savings. You know the kind - they trade in their two year old BMW when they get their year-end bonus and trade up to a Jaguar.
Having Kids Was a Financial Mistake
Yeah - blame it on the little darlings for eating you out of house and home. There’s never a mention of all the wonderful tax breaks and credits they received or the fact that they could have dispatched their kid to a good state school instead of Yale. Did the kids really need the Air Jordan’s to take the car the four blocks to school, or was that more the parents flaunting their “wealth”? Sure they needed some extra bedrooms and they will incessantly bug you for food, but I’m not buying that as a valid reason to have to extend your original retirement by five years.
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